i would walk out in the pouring rain just to hold Your hand.
just to breathe the same air as You and to become clean beside You.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Pouring Out.
i just got the strong urge to write.
so i am.
i just want you to know that YOU MATTER. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE LOVED.
There are times where we find ourselves crying on a floor, exhausted about life. Questions are pouring out and you wish there was a button that could calm the soul and clear the mind for just a second. Why does this happen? How many more things can i do wrong? Why am i THE failure in my family? Where are my friends? Do i have friends? Why don't they like me, or better yet why don't they love me?
It hurts my heart so much to think that right now there are people planning on ending their lives. "2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment." "Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)" There are loved ones right now that are struggling so much through something, but feel too ashamed to tell anyone, too ashamed to share because there is that fear that lingers after a story is told. It hurts me that we are ashamed to share. i have been in places where i don't feel like anyone would ever want to listen to me so i bottle it all up inside hoping that the emotional explosion day never comes. Or they will listen and i will be forever condemned to be alone because of who i was or who i am or who i am becoming. It's cool because God is teaching me to be vulnerable day by day, but also someone who guards their heart. For the Bible says in (Proverbs 4:23):
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
i am thankful because i have an identity in my life. This identity is through Jesus. This identity is growing everyday and when it doesn't grow i pray that i hunger for growth and closeness. i want His heart. i want His eyes. i want to be a genuine lover. GENUINE.
genuine |ˈjenyoōin|
adjective
truly what something is said to be; authentic
• (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere
i have been blessed in my life to have met so many people. i love this blessing, it brings me to tears, sometimes the good ones and sometimes the hurtful tears. i believe i was made to be a lover of people, but not with my own flesh. i was made to be a lover of people through the love of Christ. Christ's GENUINE love for people.
i was named carra, which minus one r means "friend" in irish... it means "beloved" in italian. i think i was given this name for a reason and i want to live my life for Him. i want to be His beloved and friend. :)
REMEMBER. YOU ARE LOVED. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. these are not just words to write. These are words to remember, these are words to remind yourself. i pray that next time your heart feels broken, your heart will be lifted up and that you will remember that you are loved... and i pray for joy to break the chains that bring you down. Bless you. Bless bless bless you.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
so i am.
i just want you to know that YOU MATTER. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE LOVED.
There are times where we find ourselves crying on a floor, exhausted about life. Questions are pouring out and you wish there was a button that could calm the soul and clear the mind for just a second. Why does this happen? How many more things can i do wrong? Why am i THE failure in my family? Where are my friends? Do i have friends? Why don't they like me, or better yet why don't they love me?
It hurts my heart so much to think that right now there are people planning on ending their lives. "2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment." "Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)" There are loved ones right now that are struggling so much through something, but feel too ashamed to tell anyone, too ashamed to share because there is that fear that lingers after a story is told. It hurts me that we are ashamed to share. i have been in places where i don't feel like anyone would ever want to listen to me so i bottle it all up inside hoping that the emotional explosion day never comes. Or they will listen and i will be forever condemned to be alone because of who i was or who i am or who i am becoming. It's cool because God is teaching me to be vulnerable day by day, but also someone who guards their heart. For the Bible says in (Proverbs 4:23):
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
i am thankful because i have an identity in my life. This identity is through Jesus. This identity is growing everyday and when it doesn't grow i pray that i hunger for growth and closeness. i want His heart. i want His eyes. i want to be a genuine lover. GENUINE.
genuine |ˈjenyoōin|
adjective
truly what something is said to be; authentic
• (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere
i have been blessed in my life to have met so many people. i love this blessing, it brings me to tears, sometimes the good ones and sometimes the hurtful tears. i believe i was made to be a lover of people, but not with my own flesh. i was made to be a lover of people through the love of Christ. Christ's GENUINE love for people.
i was named carra, which minus one r means "friend" in irish... it means "beloved" in italian. i think i was given this name for a reason and i want to live my life for Him. i want to be His beloved and friend. :)
REMEMBER. YOU ARE LOVED. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. these are not just words to write. These are words to remember, these are words to remind yourself. i pray that next time your heart feels broken, your heart will be lifted up and that you will remember that you are loved... and i pray for joy to break the chains that bring you down. Bless you. Bless bless bless you.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Alone at 9:35 on a Saturday.
My music heard by humans cannot be appreciated fully except by Your ears.
i love that.
singing loud. guitaring loud. but still i feel lonely tonight and can't figure out why...
Lord how can i feel lonely when You fill every room i am in, when You step every step with me, when You whisper beautiful words of how You delight in me.
but sometimes i do feel lonely... and i apologize for this... i apologize for ignoring Your presence. i apologize for longing for others to fill this void, that doesn't even exist!!! The enemy likes to preach to me and tell me that there is a void, a void in my life. Well that void in my life is only when i don't run to You for EVERYTHING. And when i mean everything, Father, i mean the GOOD, THE BAD, THE EXISTING MOMENTS.
i repent for longing for others.
God prepare me for what is to come. Arm me for the battle. Make me hunger for You... ONLY YOU!
In Jesus' name. amen.
Fill those who are feeling lonely tonight, Father, fill them with joy that can't be explained in words.
9:42
i love that.
singing loud. guitaring loud. but still i feel lonely tonight and can't figure out why...
Lord how can i feel lonely when You fill every room i am in, when You step every step with me, when You whisper beautiful words of how You delight in me.
but sometimes i do feel lonely... and i apologize for this... i apologize for ignoring Your presence. i apologize for longing for others to fill this void, that doesn't even exist!!! The enemy likes to preach to me and tell me that there is a void, a void in my life. Well that void in my life is only when i don't run to You for EVERYTHING. And when i mean everything, Father, i mean the GOOD, THE BAD, THE EXISTING MOMENTS.
i repent for longing for others.
God prepare me for what is to come. Arm me for the battle. Make me hunger for You... ONLY YOU!
In Jesus' name. amen.
Fill those who are feeling lonely tonight, Father, fill them with joy that can't be explained in words.
9:42
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunsets.
A gift from God.
Sunsets are gorgeous. It's like God wants to give us a pleasant memory to go to sleep by... kind of like a good night and a hug from Him. i love sunsets. i love spending time by myself under them, but even more so, being able to enjoy them with others. i didn't watch the sun set tonight but it was put on my heart... and i smiled as a result of it.
cheers.
hope your hearts are smiling tonight.
YOU ARE LOVED.
remember this.
Sunsets are gorgeous. It's like God wants to give us a pleasant memory to go to sleep by... kind of like a good night and a hug from Him. i love sunsets. i love spending time by myself under them, but even more so, being able to enjoy them with others. i didn't watch the sun set tonight but it was put on my heart... and i smiled as a result of it.
cheers.
hope your hearts are smiling tonight.
YOU ARE LOVED.
remember this.
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