Ponder.

(edit: i wrote this after making a stencil poster thing for my imaging class)


each cut i make in this stencil i pray goes to the good fight.
get the word out, get it out.
busy days bundle up, and taunt us.

potential present, potential pondering, potential.
all in, or all out.
i'd like to strive for all in kind of life.

i don't want to be offended!
You are my rescuer and know me dirty and clean.
when You come i want to be ready.

how does one get ready?
prepare me.
humble me, NOW. please.


[working on a poster project taking a short break to write some stuff down. blessed to be living with two of my sisters next year :), can't wait to jam on the guitar for the Lord like everyday and minute of free time! and keyboard, and uke, and harmonica!]

slay me Lord.

Meetings.

The Lord blesses us with meeting people everyday.

Love pours out.
Let His love pour out.
Yes.


so stoked.

Place.

FIRST I'D LIKE TO PRAISE THE LORD FOR HOUSING!!! HE ALWAYS PROVIDES! And it's not just a provision it's the BEST possible one! When we think we know, we have no idea haha ;). And when i say we i mean me hehe. Photographs will be posted eventually when everything settles down... moving around April 15th!!! :). Will miss the place and people i live with now but excited for the new adventure ahead...

"Though the strong could be My company, you're the one I choose" (bethany dillon lyric)

The Lord chooses the weak to lead the strong! So let us be weak for Him and we will be so strong with Him!!!

Child, you boast of how much you know.
let it go, let it go, let it go.

Breathe.

i can breathe now.
and it's You that i breathed.


there is a dark spirit that tries to steal joy
but pure joy cannot be taken
for this joy is strong and made by a Lover.
and this Lover is perfect.
Lover of my soul drowns me in perfect love
and because Perfect Love casts out all fear.
fear dissolves like snow in water
we shall shout and declare Your name.
for today the enemy was defeated.
and i declare this in Your Name.

3.14

i used to love math.

i still enjoy it on the occasion.

i in lowercase for this post. i want to feel small, because i am small.

Today is March 14th. Halfway through March you say! INDEED! It's insane! By the end of this month i have to have a completed poster for my imaging class, type work done, another archaeology exam (oh boy!), more illustrations, form/communication work (oh boy! again!), etc. i feel as if this month has passed by like a ship unnoticed. But that's okay. On April 2-5 i get the privilege to go to Cocoa, FLA for the MOVE 09 conference put on by TWLOHA. EXCITING.

March, march, the ants go marching? what? Nah, well maybe... but let's see... spring break 2009 was a blessing, as well as a superspeed revisiting and newly visiting things in life. Went to Greensboro and had an AMAZING TIME with the family. Gah, they are so wonderful!!! Miss 'em though. Then headed to HAVELOCK, NC to meet Melwren's fabulous grandma! She was so cute! And i got to go on a military base for the first time... i think... Then headed to RALEIGHwood and saw some old friends :), as well as got to meet Melwren's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin!!! They were fun and stuffed us full of yummy Italian! Got to see LO!!! and she was cute, per usual :)! And then headed back to RVA!!!

i enjoy it here. Today has been full of me working on homework and trying to focus myself for the rest of the semester. As i was doing work today i decided i would close the blinds as it got closer to six eventhough the light was still out... but then two mins later i hear yelling "GET DOWN NOW! NOW SIR! GET DOWN, LAY ON THE GROUND!!!" and i'm freaking out, because someone could shoot a gun... so as i frantically start praying i perk my ears up to hear what's going on... apparently two men were getting arrested outside of my window (thank the Lord i'm on the second story) but i was home alone at the time, which didn't make things any better... they waited outside for a really long time, i think they left around 7:50ish. Funny thing is, about 10 mins before the yelling occured i asked melissa if she wanted to get out of the house and hang out somewhere, we couldn't think of anything, although, i kind of wanted to go to short pump but didn't say anything, and then the chaos occured. i'm very thankful that there were no shots fired and that the police were out there for a long time!

phew.

what a day.

i also got to barely skype chat with my mum. hope that can be longer some other time!

cheers,
the wash.

Breathing and Sighing.

I breathe in the air of Richmond today. I have been in two states today. Today. It feels nice to be back and sitting in the room I've known for almost a year. I still can't believe RVA has been called home for a while now. Right now it is kind of a cloudy day, both emotionally as well as physically outside. I'm trying to keep my head up and keep my eyes on the Lord, who provides ALL that I need.

Found out that TWLOHA got many many many applications and got an email saying that I would not be interning for them this summer b/c they had already chosen the people for summer 2009. I may be in denial but I still haven't heard the No-go from God. I still feel like there is a slight chance I will be working for TWLOHA this summer. Until I hear from the Lord, I am still going to be trying, I'm not one to give things up, unless the Lord tells me to... perhaps I will get an opportunity to work a little bit at Warped Tour and that's why the Lord has made it so I don't intern at Cocoa Beach. I'm praying that none of this is denial and that I am openning my hear to what God wants me to do this summer. I HAVE to do something this summer. Something productive. And I will... I just am waiting to see what that something is going to be.

NO MATTER WHAT, i WILL POUR OUT MY LOVE to those around me. If the Lord calls me to love people by working at a store this summer, i will lovingly and willingly pour out my love in these places. My living situation is up in the air as well. We are praying for a place to live and i am hoping to get one open by May First. Please Lord! i know You will provide!

I head to Cocoa, FLA in less than a month, in fact t-minus 21 days! I will be attending the MOVE09 conference with To Write Love on Her Arms. I am super stoked and I have a lot of designs to share with Jamie and/or other TWLOHA peeps. I am going to talk to them and right now i am preparing myself for this journey. Optimistic, i know my optimism can only come from one place, and this is from my Savior. Because I used to be way darker than i am today. I used to pour out pestimistic views or put on the mask of optimism. But now that i have seen the light and accepted it and yearn for it, i carry this optimism with me as much as i can!

I LOVE YOU LORD!

and i will continue to wait upon You and i want, with all my heart!!! to wait for You and to hear from You. And it is my prayer today that i will breathe You in and take what You want me to have for my summer, and the rest of my life!

Cheers!

(spring break blog later, this was just on my heart)

Always Perfect Timing.

if you want to know why... ask me...

"When I Go Down"

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

New Milk.

(twloha website photograph)

Haha, so I am going to try to explain the title of this blog. Basically, this blog is long overdue which means the milk would be expired which means I need new milk. And THIS blog represents the NEW MILK.

Phew. Thanks to the Lord, I just finished my application for the TWLOHA Summer 2009 internship!!! AHHHHHHH EXCITEMENT AND HOPES AND PRAYERS! I still need to email them a portfolio so I am in the works of sewing one together from my work and such! I feel called to work with To Write Love on Her Arms this summer and I have to do it! I have had dreams at night about working with TWLOHA at warped tour but any kind of internship would be AMAZING!

TWLOHA

I haven't blogged in a while which is kind of sad. I have been out of the house for ages and pretty much stranded near campus because of the beautiful yet dangerous snowfallz! I have many friends who are getting sick/or just recovered so prayers for healing!!!

I think I'll write a spontanious poem because I don't really know how to sum up this week slash last week:

Your light is so powerful i can see it, even when i sleep.
Your light is so powerful i can hear it, even when the music is on max.
Your light is so powerful i can taste it, even when i am under water.
You drown me with Your love, and it's the most alive i ever feel.
Please don't stop, WAIT. i know you won't stop.
Cheers for all You do, You are the everlasting and the everpresent.