Pouring Out.

i just got the strong urge to write.

so i am.

i just want you to know that YOU MATTER. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE LOVED.

There are times where we find ourselves crying on a floor, exhausted about life. Questions are pouring out and you wish there was a button that could calm the soul and clear the mind for just a second. Why does this happen? How many more things can i do wrong? Why am i THE failure in my family? Where are my friends? Do i have friends? Why don't they like me, or better yet why don't they love me?

It hurts my heart so much to think that right now there are people planning on ending their lives. "2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment." "Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)" There are loved ones right now that are struggling so much through something, but feel too ashamed to tell anyone, too ashamed to share because there is that fear that lingers after a story is told. It hurts me that we are ashamed to share. i have been in places where i don't feel like anyone would ever want to listen to me so i bottle it all up inside hoping that the emotional explosion day never comes. Or they will listen and i will be forever condemned to be alone because of who i was or who i am or who i am becoming. It's cool because God is teaching me to be vulnerable day by day, but also someone who guards their heart. For the Bible says in (Proverbs 4:23):

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

i am thankful because i have an identity in my life. This identity is through Jesus. This identity is growing everyday and when it doesn't grow i pray that i hunger for growth and closeness. i want His heart. i want His eyes. i want to be a genuine lover. GENUINE.

genuine |ˈjenyoōin|
adjective
truly what something is said to be; authentic
• (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere

i have been blessed in my life to have met so many people. i love this blessing, it brings me to tears, sometimes the good ones and sometimes the hurtful tears. i believe i was made to be a lover of people, but not with my own flesh. i was made to be a lover of people through the love of Christ. Christ's GENUINE love for people.

i was named carra, which minus one r means "friend" in irish... it means "beloved" in italian. i think i was given this name for a reason and i want to live my life for Him. i want to be His beloved and friend. :)

REMEMBER. YOU ARE LOVED. YOUR STORY MATTERS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. these are not just words to write. These are words to remember, these are words to remind yourself. i pray that next time your heart feels broken, your heart will be lifted up and that you will remember that you are loved... and i pray for joy to break the chains that bring you down. Bless you. Bless bless bless you.

In Jesus' name.
Amen.