Eyes.

This past week has been quite an experience. It's insane how you can have some of the best bonding times in times of struggles. And it's so true. The Lord has taught me so much during this time of waiting and experiencing the death of a loved one. i never knew what it would be like to wait to hear when someone would die, or at least someone i grew up with. It's a weird feeling, because you know there may be pain, and so it becomes a weird subject. On Tuesday of last week i was hanging out with some of my RVA family. We were going through Target being goobers and my mom called me. i just thought she was responding to the text i had sent her, a simple "i love you." haha, my first thought is she was just calling me so she didn't have to text back, ;) she's still getting down texting! hehe love you! but she actually called on a more serious note. One that brought a little blurred vision due to tearing up kind of call. My mom told me that my grandma (sykes) had only a few days to live. At first i just thought i would stay in RVA until i was to go home for a funeral. Selfish. That's what i was being. And i'm going to tell you, the Lord quickly spoke to me through a couple of my random friends, as well as throug some of my friends i've known for a while. Go home carra, go home. And so on Wednesday i took the 3.5 hour drive down to my hometown Greensboro to be with family. Like i've written in the last blog, i only told my mom and my brother...

fast forward to Mother's day (sunday May 10, 2009). i would have to say that this was probably the best mother's day we have experienced in so many years. My family held this joy that grandma sykes would have talked about in her laughter talks (she used to go around to churches and talk about this). i got to hang out with my brother, i got to see a different side of his heart which i totally admire. i got to hang out with my dad, we didn't banter at all. i got to hug my mom like crazy and just love on my family.

Eyes. You really can tell a lot about someone by their eyes. My family has beautiful eyes. i really got to witness this this past week. The Lord really has shown me a bunch about my family, you'd think you would know by growing up for 21 years with them, but you really do learn new things day by day. On Tuesday, May 12 i got to hang out with my friend JP from lunch until late on Tuesday night. i got a sweet insight to some people he really loves. Around 10ish i kept getting messages from my mom and bro and something was up, my heart kind of dropped a little, in a sigh sort of way, wondering what was going on... JP drove me back to Greensboro. My rentals had gotten word that my grandma was not doing well, like the kind of not doing well, which meant she really didn't have long to live. My mom and dad sped over to the home where my grandma was and then Drew and i followed after i quickly got home. We were blessed by Amanda's, my friend and now Drew's gf, presence.

You can't really prepare yourself for what we witnessed. As we walked into the room, my grandmother was breathing fast and heavy. Her aged heart wasn't supposed to take/support this type of breathing. i love her so much. i really do. i just looked at her and just words of love and just from the heart were coming to me, prayers, prayers and prayers and love and just my heart. i looked into her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, full of compassion, and now gazing straight ahead. i looked at her eyes and it made me wonder, i wondered if her eyes were stuck on the eyes of our Father. She was being called home and His gaze and her gaze were on each other. Over the time we were there my eyes shed tears. i'd say, pretty much every tear that fell was a different kind. There was saddness, there was joy of freedom, there was concern, there was compassion.

i looked at my dad and saw so much emotion. His eyes cared so much for his mother. It was a perspective that made me weep even more. And my mother, Jamie was like a mom to both my mom and dad. i've seen such an angel in her over these years taking care of grandma and visiting her. You know, keeping someone company even when they are leaving this world... means so much. Even when it's just sitting with them in silence, or encouraging them. It's amazing how the Lord blesses us through people. And Drew, i love my brother so much. We were there supporting each other. Tears came out, memories poured out, bonding, so much family bonding has happened in the past week. Thanks to the beautiful woman, Jamie Sykes. And i'm going to say it over and over again. Grandma, i love you. i love the life You have blessed us with. And it's really cool b/c today at the funeral the pastor said, "sister" and i realized, my grandma was my sister. And this made my heart smile.

At 12:07am Wednesday, May 13, 2009 Dad, Mom, Drew, Amanda, and I witnessed Jamie Sykes go home, where there is a freedom only she will know, until it is our time. It was something i never knew i would witness in life, it was hard, but it was beautiful at the same time. The peace in the room was overwhelming. i really felt His presence and comfort. As we left the room to let my dad have an alone time with his beautiful mother, i looked at the door. There hung a sign. A sign that had never had much meaning until now... the sign reads "Welcome, Jamie Sykes." This was a sign from the Lord letting me know, "your grandma got home safe and she's here with Me." My heart felt the comfort of the Lord. And i had a joyful moment knowing that grandma was dancing with the Lord. Beautiful.

There is only so much i can type out. The hearts here have seen a lot over the past week. There is much i have not written here, and that's okay, i just hope that this blog blesses your day. God i ask that this was not written in vain, i ask that it blesses those who read it... We have been put together as a family to support one another in love. Thank You Lord for sending me home. Thank You for this experience. And i raise my hat and heart to you grandma. God bless you. Thank you Lord.