Sixteen.

So maybe the title has nothing to do with this post. I just thought of the first thing that could be a title and it was the number sixteen. Go read Psalm 16, it's really good. Haha. No really though... it is!!! :) "Keep me safe my God, for in You i take refuge." That's the beginning. So maybe now the title has a little bit to do with this post.

I have finally arrived back to Greensboro for the first time in a couple of days... I went to Gastonia on Christmas morning and came back Saturday but as soon as I got home I turned around and headed to Southern Pines to visit some wonderful people. Ended up seeing some cuties (heather, morgan, kelly, and kristen). Heather ended up getting a ukulele for Christmas so I got to play it a little bit and we made a little song. It was just nice to soak in some time with friends and sturrrf.

Christmas was great. Although as my cousin Chandler (who is 15) wisely said "Christmas came and went so fast I don't know if I was spiritually ready for the holiday" and I totally agree with him. Christmas came and went so fast... and I had wanted to really just take the whole story in and just meditate on the Gift God gave the world. Jesus Christ. SAVIOR. Love. Lion AND Lamb. Beautiful... but I felt like I didn't thank God enough. And the ironic thing was it wasn't like I wanted presents or anything, in fact my mom literally had to squeeze present ideas out of me, it just came and went.

Christmas is a day chosen out of a year to celebrate Christ's life... but as I grow closer and closer to Jesus and learn more and more I almost feel like Christmas is everyday because I mean really the best gift we will ever ever ever ever get was born, and it's like a present everyday. And I just really pray that I look at my relationship with Him in that way, so beautiful, so so so beautiful.

This break I have learned some things... I realized I was being ugly to some people that are dear to my heart (my brother)... I wasn't reflecting Jesus at all in my attitude or actions... and when God pointed this out to me, I became ashamed at how I had been acting... but as this moment is healing I'm praying more and more that I will learn to look at things through Jesus' eyes... pure love for EVERYONE no matter what happens. This hit me hard because I have always wanted to love in the way Jesus does and I try so hard everday but I didn't even realize that I hadn't been loving, and this freaked me out. I thank the Lord for pointing this out because I don't ever want to be ugly like I had been acting. My Father and Creator is a forviging One and i have been forgiven and i'm so THANKFUL for this, and i can move on and learn from these mistakes... it has been a test for me but it's getting better and better day by day.

I'm sorry God for turning my back on You and not loving.
I'm Thankful that You forgive me for all that I do and have done wrong.
It's a beautiful thing.

Your Love is unfailing.
Cheers :)